The practice of lovingkindness, or metta, can be done in one of two ways. Either in intensive prolonged meditation to develop deep states of concentration or, in daily life at any time one meets with people and animals or thinks about them.
The systematic practice of loving kindness for deep concentration as it is practiced in various meditation centers has been discussed in detail by such teachers as late Venerable Mahasi Sayadaw and Venerable Suijiva.
To learn about the radiating of metta with children, we have to tap into the store of knowledge accumulated by lay people and parents. It must be knowledge which has grown out of years of living and loving with children and young adults. Gregory Kramer, father of three boys, shows us in his short essay with what subtle but precise adjustments in the standard practice of lovingkindness he was able to anchor it in the lives if his children.
There are three aspects in Mr. Kramer's metta practice with his sons, which seem to me particularly important for his success:
Parents should know themselves how metta feels like and be in the habit of radiating it to their children and all beings. Children should never be coerced into sending wishes of well-being to themselves or others. Parents can trust their intuitive understanding of their children and be flexible enough to adjust the method to the age and unique personalities of the kids.
There are many wonderful ways to radiate lovingkindness with children and young adults. I hope that this little essay will encourage parents to share their own experiences, successes and obstacles, in their family metta practice.
~ Bodhisara Stephen Gerber
From Seeding the Heart: Lovingkindness Practice with Children, published by Inward Path, Penang, Malaysia.
